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It's a New Year! Everyone knows 'resolutions' don't work -- we give them up nearly as fast as we make them! But, have you considered that we need not make a promise that we won't keep to do something just 'because we ought'? There IS another way.... We can change ourselves on the inside (in our hearts and minds), and the outward changes we seek will take care of themselves. Without pain, or struggle, or failure, we will become that which we truly desire to be. See our new downloadable f*r*e*e ebooks for advice on 'improving the mind' and visit the links on our Body-Mind-Spirit page for more resources for facilitating successful growth and change.

The greatest, most abundant resource on planet Earth is also its least understood and utilized. Its unlimited supply is found virtually everywhere, anytime, and under all circumstances, even though few recognize its real value. What is this most precious collective resource? It is our relationships.

Consider these truths: It is within relationships that we grow as individuals in everything valuable, because it is through them that we become stronger and wiser, allowing us to realize a love that transcends our unseen self-limiting self-interests. Yet, even though we may acknowledge the existence of this path to self-perfection, the essential mystery of exactly how to use this endless resource remains obscured.

What do we have to do to change the balance sheet of our lives so that for every measure of impatience and intolerance there may be at least an equivalent sum of compassion and consideration? How do we learn to use our relationships with others to realize a new kind of relationship with ourselves wherein we are able to discover that who we really are is all we need to be?

Your willingness to work your way through the twelve special practices of the following inner exercise -- to strive to employ these higher ideals in your relationships with others -- will reward you with the Real Life your heart longs for. The main thrust of these special practices is to show you how to use each developing moment in your relationships with family, friends, and coworkers to consciously change your relationship with yourself. Only a moment's consideration will show us the wisdom of this unusual inner-work.

With few exceptions, the usual focus of our attention and interactions with others is centered on our self and the fulfillment of its desires. "How do I feel about you?" "What do I want from him?" or "When will she realize that I know best?" In other words, the mindset of the false self, under most circumstances, is: "Me first." By forever placing its own considerations before considering any other, it remains the master of its own universe, even if all that revolves through it is its own imagined importance.

The great inner life lesson to be learned in working with the following twelve suggested practices is that what we put first in our lives is our first relationship with life. And it is this relationship that secretly determines the nature of all others in our lives. Through our willingness to work at placing our usual self in "second place," we agree not only to change the way we see our relationships, but we have also agreed to be changed by the truths our new relationships will inevitably show us about us.

  1.Be as alert to what you can do to help someone else in any given moment as you are critically aware of       others for failing to notice your immediate needs.
  2. Let anyone who wants to psychologically defeat you have his victory, and do it without revealing that you       chose to give him the last word.
  3. In any moment of consequence, be as willing to see that you may be wrong as you are convinced that       you are always right.
  4. Do whatever act of kindness you may be moved to do for another person without drawing attention to       your deed, or to yourself for having done it.
  5. Look for ways to make moments work to the advantage of someone else besides yourself.
  6. When gathered with friends or family, instead of competing for the spotlight, voluntarily help to shine it on       someone whom you know its light will emotionally lift or otherwise encourage.
  7. Even when you know that you are solidly in the right, rather than rub it in, sacrifice your righteousness.
  8. Should a sarcastic or unkind remark pop into your mind to tease, torment, or in any way "trash" another       person, try swallowing it first to see how it tastes before you dish it out.
  9. Whatever it might be when your "moment in the sun" arises -- such as being acknowledged or applauded for       a deed well done -- if you have the choice, give the best or better portion away.
10. Let there be times when you don't tell someone everything you know about her problem, even if your       understanding of it is better than hers.
11. When feeling displeased with someone, don't show your displeasure, and save any necessary correction       for a later time.
12. There are times when the greatest strength (and kindness) one can possess is to allow another his       weakness without pointing it out or otherwise punishing him for it.

Just a few last thoughts about this exercise to take with you: Remember that all spiritual practices are a means to self-discovery, and that discouragement, or any form of frustration, are secret indicators of some end we have in mind that has been thwarted. Lastly, keep in mind that everything true we discover about ourselves enlarges our relationship with life, and that there is no end to these relationships . . . just as Real Life is endless.

-- by Guy Finley (excerpted from "Seeker's Guide to Self Freedom")

Life of Learning Foundation- www.guyfinley.com

For those rare individuals who still seek the Light in a world filled with false lights, or who realize they need to hear a more complete story than they've heard in the past, this website is the safe, friendly, and healing place you've been searching for.

Life of Learning presents an award winning multi-media website that is a rich source of ground-breaking tools for individuals interested in realizing their True Nature and winning a life free of stress. Discover proven tools for overcoming self-defeating behavior. Learn how to let go of negative thoughts and feelings that are holding you back. Discover secrets for making wiser choices in your business and personal life. Founded by best-selling self-realization author Guy Finley, the Life of Learning web site features insight-filled excerpts from Guy's books, and a host of other special features. A large selection of books, tapes, cassettes and videos is available through secure on-line shopping.

In the Northeast we have had some significant snow storms in early December forcing us to shovel and stay home. Our initial reaction was, “How beautiful and pure.” Then the next day when driving and walking became difficult, we began complaining, “Who needs snow!” By the time Christmas rolled around no one longed for or dreamed of a white Christmas as we all had our fill. It seems that we get bored quickly with the terrain and need to change things up. We are tired of the short days and cold temperatures. When we feel bored, mildly depressed, or burned out, we always look for external stimulation.

Strange, we never look within ourselves where the cold emptiness begins. Ironically, the solution exists inside where we can find greater control and empowerment through positive perception. Seeing every day as a good day with its special distinguishing moments creates peacefulness and clarity. And for those of us who demand immediate gratification, we can change our perception immediately whether at work or at home.

It can be as simple as: rearranging a few knick knacks, where we usually sit at the kitchen table, or moving a chair or lamp from here to over there. If I change my seat at the kitchen table, I really see things from a different perspective. I might notice something new in my field of vision. If I rearrange paintings or furniture, I see them with a fresh eye and appreciate them differently. When we are beset by winter doldrums, long nights, clearly we need to let the pendulum swing the other way to restore the balance.

Here are 10 tips to help you change your perception of winter and bring warmth and light into a chilly life:

  • Raise the blinds and let the light shine in. Sit by the window look out and gaze, or read. Feel the warmth.

  • Try eating more hot soups and stews. Add beans and lentils to your diet. These hearty meals are both       comforting and nourishing. (If you use canned soups pay attention to the amount of sodium as many       ready-made soups are high in sodium.)

  • Go outside to reset your biological clock. Let natural sunlight counteract SAD. Appreciate the winter       landscape: the “tree architecture” that we never notice when the leaves are flourishing, or the feathery       ornamental grasses swaying in the wind.

  • Exercise to stimulate and bring warmth to your body. Many of us are bored with treadmills and stairmasters      that go nowhere. Change up your routine. Dress warmly and go for a brisk fitness walk. If you can get to
     the shore, a walk on the beach is peaceful and inspiring. Try some new classes in Pilates, Yoga,
     Belly Dancing, Salsa and Weight Training. Join a league to participate in fun team sports. Get a buddy
     to exercise with or make friends in fitness centers.

  • Connect with sunny people. Do volunteer work. We tend to get isolated in the winter and keep to our igloos.      Get out and see positive people who appreciate you and if you can’t get out, use the phone or email.

  • Bring tropical plants into the house. Their gracious leaves and greenery will lift your spirits and give you a
     taste of eternal summer.

  • Look at the color orange which is cheering. No need to repaint your home; just put something orange on the
     desk or your coffee table.

  • Try a warm glowing candle light meditation. Light a candle in the evening and stare at the flame for about 30
     seconds to a minute. Then close your eyes and breathe to your own natural rhythm and see what comes up
     for you in meditation.

  • Give yourself an auto-massage. Warm some inexpensive olive oil in the microwave and massage your body
     from head to toe. Long strokes for the limbs, circular strokes for the torso. Make sure to massage the
     temples, and using your thumbs, do windshield wiper movements under and over your eyes. Feel the warmth
     pervade your body.

  • Simplify your home, room by room. Clean out the clutter and donate what you have not used in years. In
     winter we tend to contract and go inward. Use this indoors time to organize your home. Sharing with the
     needy will give you an inner glow.

Debbie Eisenstadt Mandel, MA is the author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, a personal trainer and mind/body lecturer at Southampton College. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WLIE 540AM in New York City , produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and in print media. To learn more visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com

Wayne had waited all of his life to begin loving, to enter into communion with all beings. It seemed to him that there was always something more to atone for before he could feel himself worthy of Love. Another act of forgiveness to go through, another bad habit to overcome, another day of meditation, one more retreat, more solitude, always, always, though, there was the waiting.

The call had resonated so deeply with him, he knew he had to follow. Where would it lead? He wasn't sure he could handle another journey and it's always accompanying dark night of the soul. He didn't want to head out again only to always be with himself, only to return to where he always is, to that place where all find themselves. Here. And that's when it deepened. It broadened, sweeping him up in waves of Love and Understanding. It was a felt sense of completeness, total and without exclusion. "Is that it", he thought? "That's all? You mean I need not go anywhere, need not do anything? And all this searching, all this time spent chasing my tail like a dog, only to find out, now, that, It never not Is, that, It Is ALL, even me, with all my insane judgements and chattering voices, sweeping emotions and compulsive desires.

At that moment time ceased. At that moment the Reality of Eternity was no longer some fancy intellectual concept but known beyond a shadow of a doubt as the only Real experience he had ever had. The doors of perception flung openly madly revealing previously hidden dimensions of the Real that he now knew were the fundaments of all Createdness. Like so much ice melting in the sun of spring his once rigid boundaries were soon to be no more. The expansion of self to Self was merely his own Essence unfolding like a thousand petaled Lotus. A fragrance, an aroma wafted all around his boundless nature. Music, celestial tones emitted from his very Self, for he was the music of the spheres, the infernal Stars, the exploding Galaxies, the plains and rivers of Light and Love that rolled through them, the Awareness was him, was All. He could now chase down dreams with the innocence of a child, wherever and whatever---even whomever--- he would place his Awareness on he would become the Essence of. "What Love", he thought, and it would increase. "What bliss and joy, what peace and understanding, what connectedness", and it was so. The separation ceased to be. He now knew that it was his travels, his journeys, his beliefs that he had to do in order to be worthy of that had prevented him from Being his Real Self, from embracing the Totality that simply IS, that he know knew to be ALL, from the heights of joy to the depths of despair. He was never, is never, not Divine. He was never, is never, not at One with All That Is. And so long as he believed he needed to go here or there, do this or that, in order to become worthy of being Who We Always Already Are, he would fail to recognize his most Real Self; the Self that is One with All, that is not separate, but is of the same substance, the same Spiritual Prescence, that constitutes all of manifest reality. Was it a coincidence that at precisely the moment he realized it would only happen here, only happen now, It did? Was it merely an irony that when he ceased the search, the search ended, and not only ended but revealed to him what always already is the case, is the Condition of Reality? All he could do was laugh. There was no punishment needed, no judgement called for. In fact he now knew that as an Eternal One he co-created this game, this searching, these dramas, so that All might not be so bored with ItSelf.

Time wasn't an issue. Time doesn't matter to those who know Eternity. So what's the rush when you will never not Be? What's the headlong fury for when the Truth is that we have all time at our disposal, that our games have no whistle that is going to blow, that the only end to the drama comes when we choose to enact another role or choose to detach from all roles and enter once again into the Unified Field of Oneness? Judgement dropped with this understanding and Wayne knew that as he would re-enter the world of Game-players and Mask-wearers he would now allow all to play the part they believe is their's to play, he was beyond judging others, for to him he now saw the Truth; that it would merely be judgement of Self, the Self that is unassailable, the Self that is you, him and her, this and that, those and these, us and them, here and there, One and All.

We are Wayne.

You can see the current delicacies to tempt your favorite feline here.

If you've enjoyed the Key Lessons we've reprinted, be sure to watch for Guy Finley's articles.
They'll be coming to our Body-Mind-Spirit page in early January, 2004.
Watch for an announcement in The Cat's Meow!.